Friday, May 6, 2011

Events of 2/6 - 4/30 - Chapter 18 - Vacuums





January 6, 2011
Cathy - The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman got his foot in the door.

"Now to make my spiel" he thought
"Root Cyclone™ technology...Instead of relying on bags and filters to trap the dust, a Dyson vacuum uses patented cyclone technology to spin the dirt out ...of the air. That's one of the reasons why it doesn't lose suction, picks up more dirt from your home and expels cleaner air."

She looked into his eyes, watching his lips move and comprehended nothing of what was being said, lost, as she was in a mountain ravine.

He looked around her house, thinking about the next section of the sales approach--dumping a pile of ash on the floor to demonstrate the suction power of his Root Cyclone™ technology--when something strange happened. His mind began to wander off script. This had happened before and he had been able to conquer it but now it was redoubled in intensity.

What was he doing? Suddenly hit with vertigo, he fell into the room and grasped onto a table, which had legs supported by carvings of clawed feet, of gryphon, or dragons, he couldn't tell, they swam before his swirling eyes. On the table, piled high, were maps criss-crossed with lines, lines of intervention, of random echoes, of shrill cries across mountaintops, a woven rug of dreams, and he was lost to the world of filtered bags, the collection of dust particles, forever.

January 7, 2011
Mark - Dust, it turns out, was an invention of the squirrels to mark the passage of time. Otherwise, how could they tell which time sliver they had arrived in? Or left, for that matter. No. Infra-precise dust measurement was the only way to calculate exactly what hairline of the rubber Gumby arc they were presently witnessing.

Joan L Harrison - After hiding the only peradam she found where the sun doesn't shine the Baroness took out a small pistol and shot one of the blue squirrels. In some quarters it is thought that this small but upsetting event on the mountain was the inspiration for Dorothy Podber's shooting of Warhol's Marilyns ever so many years later.

January 8, 2011
Cathy -  She watched the Vacuum Cleaner Salesman come in to focus, after the fog that surrounded him began to clear, as he grabbed for the table, muttering under his breath; and the picture of the blue squirrel, that once belonged to her great-grandmother, fell off the wall, glass smashing everywhere.


Ria - I organized the back pack I got off of Blue's back, after I rummaged through it to find the waffle iron had been half eaten-where do they put it?- I sighed and walked over to the team and said, "hey guys you gotta see this, this rucksack of mine is stacked with peradams."

 Lee Goldberg - Goats in Trees

February 11, 2011
William - Lee stared at me for a moment then back at the goats, then said,
"Ecological systems are best understood when viewed from above. Come let me show you what I've discovered so far. Give me a boost." She gestured to my hands and I made a stirrup which she used to step into and quickly grabbed onto the lowest tree limb. Pulling herself up she reached a hand down and I climbed up beside her. We made our way higher into the canopy, then sat on a large limb, our feet dangling many meters above the ground.
The goats agilely made room for us and seemed little concerned at our intrusion. They continued to leap about pausing to sniff the little fruits, ignoring some, rapidly devouring others. One was tugging at a tenacious strip of bark.

After she caught her breath, Lee continued,
"Although I've only been here a short time, I believe this small grove of trees to be a crossroads of sorts. An oasis, where confusion is assimilated and returned to the mountain so that clarity can be found that will give those continuing on strength or guidance."

From this middle height, things were certainly coming into focus. This was indeed a crossroads as I could make out not only Susan and Ria, whom I had arrived with, but I also spotted Mara approaching the gated structure arching over the Eastern path accompanied by what looked like a rather leggy lemon tart.


Lee Goldberg - Arrival and Discovery

The goat who had been yanking and teasing the bark strip suddenly succeeded and pitched backwards and off the branch he was standing on; landing with a dull thud about 7 meters below our feet. After a moment the beast struggled to its feet, and picking up his hard won prize, resumed chewing.

I scrambled over and peered at the wound left in the trunk of the tree and saw now what the goat had exposed and it looked like the handle of an antique revolver. I peered closely and could faintly make out the initials E. vFL.

I looked back at Lee who said, "Curious story there...it explains our unique relationship with the blues."


February 15, 2011
Susan
The more I stared at this image, the more hypnotic it became. I observed minute broken shards of colored mirror that showed my"light-show"image. Tiny and glistening sparkles of blue rays glowed stronger and like a growing hand with long azure extended and probing fingers, reached closer to my body. Mesmerized, I could not alter my view. As I stood motionless, the imagery in the painting blurred and then I saw us. I saw all of us on Mount Analogue. There I was inside the tree, as Bill was outside with Lee going up the tree as Ria was checking her waffle iron. I felt the atmosphere change. Wind stared to howl as it became icy and windy. A tornado commenced to envelope me and I had the odd sensation that I was being rearranged. Then there was silence. Opening my eyes, I gazed out into a room directly in front of me. But, when I looked around I knew, I was lost. I was transported into the painting. I yelled out…but everyone had left the room. There was a green furry goat coming towards me, starting to gnaw on the corner of my world. I turned around and dashed down the stream slipping, trying to avoid the rocks as I tried to figure out a solution. The tree had vanished and numbers were raining around me!

 Lee Goldberg - Susan Come Back


Lee -  This is the first time I've been brave enough to climb so high.
Having the others here does make me feel a bit safer than when it was just me and the monkey.
From up here I could see for miles.
Below, Bill was pointing at something in the distance.
There was a herd of pygmy goats moving toward the ocean.
The small goats were a variety of colors, none of which one would associate with an animal.
Ahhh well, it's Analogue..
I've come to realize nothing here should surprise me.
Over the chattering of the birds and animals, I heard the sound of wind and crashing, coming - well that can't be- coming from INSIDE the hut.
I hurriedly started to climb down toward the hut.
I could see through the window of the tree hut and Susan was standing, looking a bit strange - almost as in a trance.
It was hard to see what she was staring at from my angle of vision.
As I reached the porch of the hut there was Susan.
Something was whirling her around as she drew closer to the painting near the door...
then she was gone; the painting fell to the ground.
I didn't know which way to turn as I shouted, "Bill-come quick; somethings happened to Susan."
I looked down at the painting on the floor, it was a landscape-a meadow; a brook, trees and a figure running away towards the trees.
A FIGURE WITH RED BOOTS AND A MASS OF VERY BLOND HAIR.....

February 19, 2011
Mara - Walking around the tree, I kept hearing this song in my head.



While there were many signs that my friends were, or at least had been here I didn't see them now. I stopped walking and shook my head free of the tune in an effort to hear what was going on around me.

February 24, 2011
William - I looked back from Lee to the butt of the antique revolver embedded in the tree. She began, “I believe that must belong to the Baroness.” Her voice trailed off and as I turned I saw she was suddenly halfway down the tree.

“Lee”, I shouted..., “wait up; who is the Baroness?” She paused briefly, looked up and said, “Elsa…Elsa von Fretag-Loringhoven. Get moving! This means we could be in danger.” Dumbfounded, I began scrambling down after her. “What? What danger? The way my luck has been going I’d probably be crushed by goats falling from the sky.
Lee was at the bottom of the tree hut before I caught up with her. Climbing the rungs of the ladder we quickly made our way up to the porch. Lee peered through the window and gasped. She was looking at one of the paintings that had been on an easel by the door but now was on the floor of the tree hut. It looked like a small tornado had ripped through the room.
I climbed through the window and noticed Ria sitting in meditation, singing bowl on her head, oblivious to the mess. I tapped on the bowl. (It does make a beautiful sound) Ria’s head nodded toward the painting and almost silently mouthed, “Susan.”
Lee and I looked down at the canvas; an antique pastoral scene with a hunting party off to one side. The three men and a woman, with a peculiar bustle, aiming her weapon into the distance was meticulously rendered. In the center of the canvas… a tiny figure.
“Curious”, I say, I think the paint is moving.” Indeed, the small painted figure was slowly making its way toward a small ravine, pushing little puddles of green aside.. moss, olive, fern and sage all making way as our Susan made her way to the woman holding the vacuum cleaner.


Lee - Bill, Ria and Lee watched in amazement at the moving painting before them on the floor.
The woman threw the vacuum cleaner aside and began to run towards Susan waving and screaming
"oh Susan, at last I can be free of this...
Susan it's the... boots"



She and Susan hugged while Susan clicked her red boots; the painting started to vibrate and pieces were breaking away.
The small room of the hut filled with a whirling smokey substance as Susan and Cathy appeared in the center of the room.
Everyone was speechless except for Susan who shouted "bloody hell...why didn't I realize the real power of these boots"

Cathy said " oh, rats, I forgot my vacuum!"

Susan - I couldn’t cease coughing. There was smoke everywhere. I held the trembling palm of my left hand over my mouth to form a pocket of pure air so I could breath. I couldn’t see properly until the grayness of the room started to dissipate. As ...the thick murky curtain of confusion opened, there standing before me was Cathy. It all happened so fast. One minute I was running for dear life inside a living canvas, and the next instant back in the hut wheezing, out of breath, wearing my red boots. Ah, yes, and then I remembered the pain in my finger. I looked down at my other hand, where droplets of crimson red were spilling on the ground. Like in slow motion, plopping, splattering and scattering onto the green ground near my feet creating a magnificent Jackson Pollock. (ok, it was a bit of an exaggeration). It was all coming back to me. I was shot. And, my throbbing finger was bleeding. That odd woman was wearing a WW1 gas mask, storming after me, waving frantically with her left hand and screaming “You are in my dreams… I have seen you before, you are in my dreams” was carelessly firing her gun in all directions. At the same time I heard humming of what I thought was a vacuum cleaner, but was only the memory of what was. There before me was Cathy pointing to my boots. Ah, yes, those boots. The power of my footwear. I skillfully touched the yellow icons tooled into the leather precisely in the correct sequence with the thumb of my right hand. One style overlapping the other, colours melting together, until the form began to morph back into the blue mukluks again. I finally remembered the secret. I immediately rubbed my damaged index finger on the magical fur knowing my injury would expeditiously and mysteriously disappear. I let out a large sigh and smiled as I saw the sparkling eyes of a tiny blue squirrel watching me and I knew it knew. “Now, how am I going to explain this!”

Lee - OK, I guess it's time to give you the story about the Baroness.  Baroness Elsa von Fritag-Loringhoven was married to Baron Rudolf Ludwig von Fritag-Laringhoven, who delved into genetic experiment not with just flora and fauna but with the humans as well.
The laboratories were hidden deep in the mountain accessible only by a labyrinth of passages from the larger chambers.
He was aided by his partner Dr. Nicholas Koppertop from Russia.
Together they were able to secretly create a tribe of part human part animal beings that mostly lived deep in the forests .
Their devilish experiments were unknown to everyone on the island, including Baroness Elsa, who had only arrived on the island after the Baron had been living there more than 20 years.
Baroness Elsa soon became pregnant .
She had a difficult pregnancy and thought nothing of the shots that were given to her by the Baron.
When Elsa's child was born healthy but with oddly monkey like features she became quite distressed.
Her husband calmed her fears by explaining that his family had similar traits .
She very soon became pregnant again...this time the child had close set eyes and the distinct look of a rodent.

Lee Goldberg - The Family

As she watched her children grow and become more animal-like, she took more and more walks in the forest, where she thought she was having visions.
She would catch sight of all sorts of 'creatures'.
It was all driving her mad.
One day she bravely followed the Baron into the caves. Deep into the mountain down the twisting paths to the laboratory, she was horrified by what she discovered.
Silently she made her way back to her home where she got dynamite and a gun.
She went back deep into the mountain...first she shot her husband then Koppertop...
She freed the captives and blew up the passages so no one would ever know the horrid evidence of her husbands crimes.
She was never the same again and roamed the woods increasing becoming more and more mad as she discovered what her husband had done.
It is said she walks the forests to this day...

February 26, 2011
William -  I reached over to give Cathy a slap on the back but accidentally triggered the Dyson and with an astonishing vortex Susan was pulled into the machine. I nodded my head sadly, "Yes, It really does suck"

Susan Shulman - It really does suck

March 5, 2011
Susan - I felt myself falling and sinking, no being extinguished into nothingness. Painlessly I slipped quietly into a shadow land. No, not nothingness, but “bluethingness”. I sensed the blues. They were all around me. I was basking in the richness... and the texture of the tones and hues.

 Susan Shulman - The Blueness

My boots had disappeared and my toes, wiggling were soaked in warm washes while I felt the coldness of some of the pigments surrounding me, touch my face. I was bathing in the shades of the sea of blues. Waves tenderly pushed me as I smelled and tasted the salt from the foam on my lips. I could not open my eyes quite yet and slowly the sounds of those B and E flats started to entertain my hearing. The lids of my eyes started to move, gently coerced in unison by the charm of the beats and slowly I reluctantly started to open my lashes. I could not believe what came into focus.

I was back in Bill’s studio. Impossible. And before me again were the life-size cutouts of Bill and Mara dry mounted on cardboard swaying freely in the air hanging by some invisible thread. Except this time they were blue and not black. And this time there were others with them. For a moment I froze, wondering if I had been spit out of some transitioning sea to find myself now in the same form as them. I wondered if Cathy knew the power of the transformation vacuum cleaner. I took a long and deep cleansing breath and sluggishly counted to 100 with great trepidation before I decided to peek down and survey my body.

March 6, 2011
William - Cathy reached back, flicked the switch off and gave me a stare that made me want to crawl underneath Ria's Tibetan bowl. Since it was still in use atop the Inscrutable One's head I settled for an apologetic grin. "it was an accident; there ...really should be a trigger lock, safety guard or at least a warning label on it."
"That may be", Lee offered. "But a safety switch isn't doing Susan any good right now," and she pointed to the clear Dyson chamber frothing Klein blue with bits of boots and curly hair occasionally bubbling into view. I saw a antique flintlock eddy slowly before disappearing with a pop that made me shudder.
Lee continued, "Wiiliam, the Baroness is in there with Susan, you need to go pull her out before they mix molecules, trade hats or psychoses."
Dumbfounded, I stared at my fellow climbers. Ria teased a thread loose from her bulky red sweater, handed me the end and said, "Hold on Grapjas."


Ria - Bill: "It seems so…so desperate."
"Yeah," RVE replies, adjusting her bulky red sweater, ready to jump and fly.
"You think it will work?" (to live off of MA brilliantly and vitally alive)
"Does it matter?"

Ria Vanden Eynde - The Desperate Red Sweater

March 7, 2011
William -  Ria gives a quick nod to Cathy who toggles the Root Cyclone Technology to life; the vacuum sucking indecision from our reality.
I barely have time to rig a belay before she hurls herself into the Dyson and in a blur is gone. The anchor point of the belay shakes the Note Tree's branches until message leaves cloak the mountain slope.


March 16, 2011
Lee - Oh oh oh this is all becoming too much to take in.....I needed to walk away....to clear my head of whats been going on.....things were out of control...I felt out of control....were things ever in control?....OR...has this island controlled us all, each in their own bubble of drama.....each reacting to their own inner story....the island gave up distraction after distraction to keep anyone from actually reaching the summit ...the island holds information but more so it holds it's secrets tightly....illusions built and burst...confuse and amaze but do not allow clarity into ones thoughts...Our journey continues...to what end? Are we all in the midst of a group hallucination Or is this my own dream ?  My imagination?...and all the others just voices and players in my head ? ---Or-- maybe---I'm going mad as Elsa------I'm finding it more and more difficult to believe what I see and hear.....what I feel....is any of it real?

March 17, 2011
Mark - I pointed to the gauge on the Gumby arc and assured Lee that soon people would start making their way through the slit and she could begin her ascent to the blimp where it would all make sense. She looked at me quizzically so I added "but you have no way of knowing that yet." Somehow, as I had been told, and even though it had no reason to, this calmed her down.

March 24, 2011
Mara - Inhaling the damp moss scent I thought to myself, "Now THIS is real". I was leaning against a tree and had been gazing at the notes flap this way and that on the tree across from me. Shapes began to repeat and connect with other shapes. Without giving it much thought I stood and began to gather objects to a central area.


Susan - Bubbles were dancing in front of my eyes. So many beautiful shades of blues were floating in synchronized movements vibrating within iridescent spheres. I was hypnotized watching one transparent blob merge with another as they banged and bulged gently together to form hexagons. The colours of the bubbles seem to be reflecting my surroundings. In my mind’s eye I sought to communicate with these soothing and captivating shapes. I imagined for a moment that they were life forms and perhaps I was going to be surrounded by their loving embrace and become a new entity. It was glorious and finally I knew what it felt to be one with all. It was magical as I was becoming the universe, and at that moment I knew I had gained entrance to the first Sephirot. Suddenly, one of the moving bubbles started to expand and the colours within the globe started to fill with red and the bubbles nearest my field of vision trembled and burst. Pop, pop, pop. Several sounds seemed to scream out of each. I heard the letters: S - u - s - a - n - bellowing out in a cacophony of chatter as a red and thick shape was expanding closer and closer to my aura. More shadows moved closer and the blur started to clear as my pupils adjusted to the speed of the images. A face started to take form and I was staring at the penetrating eyes of RIA.

March 25, 2011
William - Cathy bemused expression gave way to alarm with the sudden realization that the suction was set to max. “Mark,” she shouted over the Dyson’s Whisper Quiet™ roar, your Gumby Arc gauge is about to….”
To late; it was gone, sucked into the Cathy’s prosthetic vacuum. Not good since Mark had just finished reassuring Lee that Harmony was almost within reach…. just a couple more ticks on the gauge.
Some days are like this; you have no way of knowing when your Gumby Arc Gauge is going to run off the rails.
Personally, I was trying desperately to hold the belay but Ria’s weight times the velocity of the Dyson’s 136,000G cyclonic separation technology yanked me off my feet. The loose end of her rope whipped me around the room like a doll and then I was inside the canister.
I managed to hold on as I was sucked in. Off in the distance I could hear Ria singing “Hojotoho” at the top of her lungs.
I hit the water with enough force to momentarily knock the wind out of me. I gasp for air as I find myself sitting in a rather large claw foot bathtub full of bubble bath.

 Ria Vanden Eynde - The Bathtub in the Dyson™

Slowly taking stock I look to my left through the still settling bubbles. Lush forest, chattering squirrels, VW bus with a flat tire painted with fish, hearts and peace signs. Fat letters on the side proclaiming, “The KaliKuties”.
Ok, I think I’m in the right place.
The tap on my shoulder startles me. Ria, her sweater drenched and dripping says, “I think we’re about to go on.”
I slowly look to the right as Susan pulls herself out of the tub and strides onto stage. Suddenly I realize the Whisper Quiet™ roar is the crowd.
Susan yells over her shoulder, “Hurry up, they want an encore!”

April 6, 2011
Susan - As I ran onstage, out of breath with excitement nearly tripping over the red strips of my costume I quickly surveyed the backdrop. I wanted to make sure it was securely embedded into the sand. What a gig. A chance of a lifetime. The “KaliKuties” were performing on Mount Analogue. Bill and Ria were standing up, bursting with enthusiasm as the bubbles exploded around them, sounding like firecrackers popping, as the water poured over the edges of the billabong, laughing their heads off hysterically. Everyone was here to see us. The crowd was waving us all on. “Encore, encore…more!” they shouted! The air was tingling with magnetic excitement as the strobe lights from the pyramid were flashing onto the faces of the crowd. Blue, red, green, orange pulsating faster and faster, caressing the onlookers. I looked to my right and saw the troupe arriving. “Yes, here comes our backup, the tall man and the jugglers!” They were coming to perform after us. I turned to my left and saw a vision of my daughter smiling as the Roo rubbed his soft furry head against her hand. “G’day, That is quite the load you’re carrying there!”
 Susan Shulman - Roo Day

I said eyeing the eclectic spectators, one atop each other. All at once, all the tails started to waive in the audience from left to right. Swaying to a beat. It was time. Bill, with his sunglasses on, grabbed his didgeridoo and started to play. It was going to be his best performance. He had been practicing his notes for months on the mountain. Not an easy instrument to carry in his rucksack along with all the climbing gear. I recalled how he nearly started many an avalanche by accident. Innocently of course. Then Ria, took her position next to Bill, the crowd went crazy when she started her perfectly pitched humming while standing in her warrior pose. I raised my graceful arms up and slowly I started to dance. The crowd started thumping with their tails! Mayhem ensued as a blur of colours stampeded around us as we continued our performance.

Mara - "Help", Mara called, "I'm here but I can't see or hear you all, I'll find a rock and start tapping out a signal."


William - As I put the didgeridoo to my lips a strange tapping rhythm filled my head. I began to jam to it.


Lee - Mark reached down and grabbed me by the arm and hauled me aboard the basket of the balloon.  "I thought we were waiting for the others and an airship",  I managed to get out as I was being tugged and dragged into the basket where I landed with a big whommp! As Mark turned to a steering device he managed to say,  "seems we've been left behind and need to catch up with the rest of the team.  I think they've headed to the other side of the island...who knows what we'll find there but we need to get moving".
...With that there was a big burst of fire from the gas above and we started to move upwards over the note tree grove.  We rose higher and higher traveling over the lavender fields and the huts heading away from the beach to the hills ahead.  I was feeling a little dizzy and sank to the floor of the basket.  This may be a bumpy ride.

Mara - I stopped my work and looked up through the branches. There was a balloon moving away and I could see a silhouette, probably human. Hnummm... well, the locating device should be active soon. Puttering this way and that I got lost in the making of the arrangement, perfectly happy with my anticipation beginning to grow. "I know, I know, appreciate each moment... don't get ahead of myself... enjoy this beautiful day... and certainly don't harbor expectations." But I missed all the other climbers and eagerly anticipated hearing their stories as well as thinking about my home.


Lee - I've been sitting here in the bottom of this 'basket' long enough; seems to be smooth sailing and I'm curious to see what's below, so I gingerly rose up enough to see over the edge.  "WOW! I've been missing the best of it", I gasped.  Mark laughed and said,  "I wondered how long it would take that curiosity to take over your nervousness...it's a wondrous island from above-as below."
I wondered where I'd heard that before...as above-so below.  We traveled silently above the trees and fields - the only sound the occasional whoosh for the flames to heat the air of the balloon.  In the distance I could just see the ocean on the opposite side of the island...we were traveling away from what I thought was the accessible side of the mountain, and the huts along the way.  I thought, maybe, all our adventures were behind us.  it does almost seem we are going the way of Daumal and will leave the island with the mountain unclimbed.  We seem to be a distracted group with divergent interests and curiosity about the oddities of Analogue Island.  We've separated and reunited over and over; much like a group of birds that link and scatter on their migration routes.  As we cleared another stand of trees we were able to make out the coastline....and...a TOWN in the distance...this must be where the others are now.   Mark seemed to know where to go by instinct....he shouted, "we'll be there soon", as he gave the balloon another blast of hot air.  I could see the horizon where, not believing my eyes there was a cruise ship heading toward the small port town.  Maybe our adventures aren't over after all.....or?

Susan Shulman - KaliKutie Encore Performance


April 28, 201
Susan -  “What a rush, did you hear the applause Bill, Ria? That was the most rewarding performance we have had to date on Mount Analogue.” Bill carefully put down his magical didgeridoo next to Ria’s glistening bowl smiling from the experience. Ria put her finger to her pursed lips and whispered, “Shhhh, do you hear something… like voices in the wind, I can’t make it out?”
We all turned around at the exact moment and looked down at the recently trampled ground littered with tree notes seemingly marking a path leading back towards those compelling whirling sounds. We slowly tiptoed in synchronized footing carefully down the path, a little uneasy as to what we would encounter. Bill took out his machete as a precaution in case he had to clear the way. There were a lot of “tanglers” trying to hook our feet and trip us so we carefully avoided them. We were starting to get quite spooked by now. We tied some red rope to each of us for fear we might get lost again.
The singing was getting louder and more hypnotic, luring us closer with every pace.
The moment we stepped into the bright clearing we stopped dead in our tracks. ”Wonders of wonders, we have found the SHOETREE!!!” I screamed.

 Susan Shulman - The Shoe Tree

What madness is this, as my eyes started to take in the whole scene. “Look…its BLUE….the original Geppetto…and he is also a shoemaker, and look Bill, Ria, instead of Pinocchio, he has made you! And…look at all the red boots.”
Bill’s mouth was wide open, speechless, in shock, his eyes nearly popping out of the sockets while at that very moment the harmonizing started to get louder. We turned and then we saw them all. There, attached to the shoetree were faces of all shapes and sizes grinning back at us while they serenaded us. Shrugging my shoulders and laughing nervously, I realized that I would have to stop my journaling now, because this was just too much for even me to explain!

April 29, 2011
Ria - Ugh, I hit my head against bill's fishes' boots, huh? What? Fish wearing boots?! And suddenly I snapped out of it, what was it, the Dyson dream, hallucination on those nuts? Were they hallucinogenic? Mmmm... I gathered my wits. Well, what w...as left of them, I looked over frowning at Bill, Susan and the rest of our lot .... I yelled at the top of my voice "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD GUYS! ENOUGH OF THIS WHIRLING! I'M DEPLOYING RIA TECH NOOOOOOOOOOOOW! HANG ON TO URE BOOTS!"

Ria Vanden Eynde - RIA Tech deployed

April 30, 2011
William - There's really nothing like the feeling I get after nailing a great didgeridoo riff. This audience seemed extra appreciative as they showed their approval by pelting us with self gathering nuts which obligingly formed themselves into columns. They marched straight to my hat which I had placed to the front of the stage and piled right in. It was a good night for the KaliKuties; I calculated we had enough to feast on until next weekends gig on the cruise ship. I left the tomatoes and eggs as they don't self gather and besides Susan and Ria were both frantically gesturing for me to follow.
I reluctantly gathered my sheet music, didgeridoo and nut filled hat and glancing over my shoulder to make sure I hadn't missed anything, I followed. (Sometimes the audiences here in Dyson™ have even been known to throw fish when I hit those really squeaky high notes and a herring would taste good right about now)


Deftly using my machete to prune a few tanglers, we made our way towards the sounds Susan claimed to be hearing. I thought it probably was a wild goose chase because they usually turn out to be just in her head.
"Hold up", I shouted, "Some of these tanglers have loose ends!" I hacked at a few and then stumbled into a clearing and discovered why I had been feeling disjointed lately.
The perfect puppet replica of me was being deftly twitched and gyrated by the Shoetree; and my fish puppet was nearing exhaustion from his frantic tap dancing.

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